:)

Tonight

2011-02-03T22:53:00.000-06:00

Hello laptop. It's been awhile since I've typed out my thoughts. It's not like I haven't tried but you've become intimidating. Every time I decide to write I see this blank white space staring back at me daring me to say something interesting. So, in an attempt to make you less intimidating I've started this paragraph. You can call it rambles, but it's my start of inspiration.

Ok now that that bologna is over and dealt with; here I am, with a deep breath, cup of tea, exhausted body, and wandering mind.

The superbowl is this Sunday and Green Bay has done it again. They've worked as a team to push their way to the big game. This isn't the first time. The Packers have won more championships than any other team in NFL history, twelve to be exact. The closest to them (my personal favs) are the Bears with nine (yay Bears!!!!).

Why the sudden football craze? Well I saw the logo and thought how crazy it was that everyone else seemed to be an animal or have some metaphoric symbol, and then there's Green Bay with their 'G'. I figured it had to stand for something besides 'Green Bay'. Well, I was right! The 'G' stands for 'Greatness' which the team is undoubtably known for.

Ok now to wrap my thoughts of life into it. Well, everyone has a destiny, and they are somewhat like our logo's. After time, some people might think you should become something because of a coincidence, location, issues, family, and the list goes on. The only thing is, all of those things can change and for most people they do. Who you are, what your dreams and goals all reside in, that doesn't change. Everyone's destiny is engraved deep in their souls from the moment they are born. There's this longing/nagging feeling we have that pulls us closer and closer to the fulfillment we seek in it.

Sometimes life pushes you in all directions like someone on a raft in a stormy ocean. You become unsure of wether or not the destiny you've been gifted with should be your own. You begin to redesign your logo. The biggest thing we forget when life get's like that is that YOU will always live YOUR destiny even if you try and label it something else. One cant eliminate their destiny without eliminating oneself.

In the end we are all destined to have 'greatness' as our logo, the thing people know us by, but only those who embrace it and live their lives as 'great' lives get to see their destiny lived out. Kinda like the NFL... only those who embrace 'greatness' will be great.

New

2010-12-16T20:30:00.000-06:00

There are so many things every Christmas that people seem to want. Its not just a commercial holiday though, its this time of year so many dream, wish and hope during. It's as if the story of Jesus and Santa Clause give people the mindset that you can get more right now then during the 4th of July.

I somewhat understand the whole wishing with Santa Clause, but come on people we all know that jolly ol' St Nick is way too busy checking the naughty or nice list and finishing his toy list to make sure world peace happens this year. What, too pessimistic? I'm sorry. I will elaborate I promise!

What I don't get is why people wish and pray for things so much around Christmas. I am guilty of it too, but it just all hit me today and I questioned my motives. I was thinking of my last few blogs and wishing that it could all be possible. Is there anything wrong with wishing? No! It's just I wouldn't have been wishing if it weren't Christmas time.

When you come from the Christian standpoint of Christmas, you immediately think of the nativity. I bet some of you have one set up on your fireplace mantle, or coffee table! They are always so neat to look at. They are a display of a humble gift that everyone has a chance to receive. It's the best gift of all time.

Reading in 1 Peter today gave me a sudden giddy feeling, like I had just won a million dollars and more! It talks about salvation, how it's a gift from God worth more than anything we could imagine here on earth. Now when you think of that as our gift at Christmas time, asking for anything or wishing for anything seems strange. If you believe in Christ and have Salvation through Him there is nothing in this world that could top that! So why do people try to? Well, happiness is the only way to answer that.

I love Christmastime! So before you start thinking oh here goes the rants of a happy holiday stealing Christian, let me follow up my previous statements with something more optimistic. You see the things that always made Christmastime are the feelings that seem to overwhelm you. A mindset that anything is possible, and a liberating sense that happiness surounds people allowing everyone to feel like they are free to wish, hope and dream without holding back. It's the holiday where people realize how much good there is in the world, and how much hope is alive through faith. A reminder that God is with us. Time to spend with family and friends to cherish the meaning of 'relationships'. Christmastime when thought of and appreciated brings happiness in a natural and unforced way. It's something that you can't just create on your own. After the presents are unwrapped, the food has been eaten, and "It's a Wonderful Life" airs for the last time people don't just assume their positions in life again, they think of how blissful it can be. That the extra things that we are given and don't deserve are all the sprinkles on top! Beautiful additions that allow us to be thankful and humbled at the beauty of it all.

My "realistic" Christmas List

2010-11-22T18:09:00.000-06:00

Here's the list of items I would like to see under my tree. Keep in mind that even though the title says "realistic" I'm 100% positive that I will not be getting most of if not any of these items. :)

a Singer professional sewing machine

a Cannon professional camera (18+ megapixels)

Large linen canvas'

A Tiffany & Co. Locket Key necklace

Dear Santa, I'm sick of Barbies...

2010-11-19T00:26:00.002-06:00

Dear Santa,

I want to live out my dreams next year! I want life to be as exciting as I dreamed it would be as a child. Traveling, singing, acting, meeting new people, learning something new everyday, simply put not to have a bucket list but instead day by day seizing every opportunity to make it count while enjoying every single second.

When I was little I remember making a list filled with the new Barbie and dress up clothes. Then, I got older and it progressed to nice clothes for work, instruments, make-up, and cameras. Now, I look at all of that and I'm not disappointed in my choices for presents, I used the heck out of everything I've ever gotten. I was never one to open a present and let it go to waste, I never got too much more than I needed and I love new things. But this year instead of asking for something that is tangible, I really know what I want (which is a first, because, even though I asked for things before, I never really absolutely knew what I wanted). So what do I want? I'm not going to be all predictable and say love or anything gooshy like that. Nope, instead I'm going to open up and be serious.

I want a chance. The chance to live a spectacular life that involves making others happy and that in turn I would be happy too! How perfectly wonderful would it be to wake up Christmas morning and have a check written with your name on the recipient line and 1,000,000,000 written in the amount box? Oh, and a note attached saying that it was all tax free? Would I spend it all on a house and cars, or luxury vacations? No way! My life would then consist of living on only what I needed, and making sure all of my close friends and family were just as comfortable. Then, I would constantly be in a mental state of Christmas year round, giving to families in need at random and just sharing the gift that I didn't deserve just as much as anyone else doesn't. I would constantly learn and put the money to use in that way. Learning all the things I've ever wanted. I would travel and meet new people. Live different places for a while because I want to experience the culture. That's spectacular. I want a chance at that!

So Santa, yes it's I know it's not even Thanksgiving yet, and I also know that you've got a budget with the economy the way it is and all, but maybe you could check that naughty or nice list 3 times this year? I'm sure you could make a few more cuts, at least that's what everyone else is doing. With all the extra money you'd save from giving those kids Xboxs, NintendoDSs, and the pony's those rich kids get, I'm sure you could give me my chance.

I'm sure this isn't the first letter you've been written asking for a chance, or money. I've thought long and hard about it though! I believe that there's a way for me to achieve all of the goals I have in life and money really is the only shot I have at getting there. Stinks, and I wish money wasn't what made the world go round, but lets face it, it does. IF there's another way to achieve my goals you know where to find me. My new place doesn't have a chimney but there's a radiator like in the movie "The Santa Clause" so I think we're covered. Or you could always use the front door since it would be less of a hassle.

Enjoy the rest of your Christmas planning and such. Tell ol' Rudolph I said hey!

God Bless,

Amber

Ponder

2010-11-15T14:56:00.000-06:00

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.
-excerpt from The Declaration of Inependence

Its crazy how fast life shoots by us. Sometimes we want to speed through certain parts while other times we wish that we could just sit back and enjoy it. I've found lately that I'm content with the speed my life is traveling, but I'm not really sure why. There's a lot going on in my life yet it's consistent with the same problems, same joys, same hurts and pains.

I've become content with the knowledge that my life is going to happen the way it's been designed to, like everyone else's. That was philosophical I know ha. When I was a kid I remember always looking forward to getting older. I wanted to be an adult, have a job, get married, raise a family of my own and then just keep life rolling. It was what everyone did. It was the dream of being happy for the rest of my life by doing what everyone else said life should be.

In America we have this idea of the "American Dream". It's the idea that you can live your life to the fullest and achieve whatever you set your mind to. The idea that everyone has the opportunity to thrive financially, emotionally, and physically, but is it realistic? It can be. Here's a shocker, thriving in all of those ways doesn't mirror happiness, and yet happiness is what the "American Dream" was based upon.

Anyone and everyone can be happy but, I believe that happiness is something that you come realize is simple. It comes in soooooo very many different forms. Family can bring you happiness. Friends can bring you happiness. Jobs, Education, Wealth... these can all exhort some form of happiness. Back to the simplicity of it, with all of those things bringing happiness to people a good question would be 'Why are so many people unhappy?' Most people become accustom to the feeling of happiness and then start searching for it. It's not that it's not right in front of them, it's that they have a hard time believing it.

Take Hollywood for example. You have multi-millionaire public figures, actors, and actresses, who work to earn the lifestyle that is identical to the image of the "American Dream" and yet they overdose, get DUI and OWI's, divorce over and over again, and sometimes go bankrupt.

Is happiness even noticed anymore? Or has it become a work of overworked thought? Simplifying it down to the idea that you can find it [happiness] everywhere, it's abundant in number, and yet it is priceless. That's what true happiness is.

Being Beautiful

2010-10-29T13:45:00.000-05:00

My mind is racing through a million different subjects trying to figure out why I am on here typing. The title "Being Beautiful" I guess is what I should explain. So here I go.

You know how people always tell you to be yourself, not to let anyone judge you, don't listen to other people? The crazy part of all that jazz is the fact that when it comes to 'being yourself' people let the judgement of other people define who they are supposed to be. Take popular artists and people in the limelight for example. They are constantly fitting the mold that we make for them. Singing songs that we want to hear, acting out parts that we want to see. I don't know about you, but I never want to be like that. I would much rather freehand life than have it drawn out for me.

I love to paint. My paintings sometimes resemble some form of Picasso artwork, but all the same I get to stand back and look at it and say "I did that!" Making things look like Picasso may not sound like an accomplishment to some, but when you think about all of the people who are too afraid to pick up a paintbrush and just paint, well I made a huge accomplishment.

I'm not afraid to try things (as long as I'm not in any form of danger that would cause me to break a bone, die, or end up in a penitentiary). No, even then sometimes I tend to be daring. But why not? I think it would be awesome if I were to die skydiving or something crazy and then when I'm walking through heavens gates Michael the arch angel says to me, "I give it a 10!" Ok so that's wishful thinking, but still awesome! Death doesn't phase me, my biggest fear is pain. After seeing loved ones pass and people go through horrible sicknesses I just have developed this fear of being in that situation. But trying things that wont get me sick, I'm all about.

So what does all of this have to do with Being Beautiful? Well, beauty is a huge question mark. Why? Because everyones see's beauty differently.

Do you want honesty?

2010-10-22T15:57:00.001-05:00

So this is where I am today...

I've lived 21 years of my life so far. I've had 3 last names. The thing I've known the longest is music. I'm going back to school in the spring for music and possibly theatre. I talk a lot. The place I feel the most comfortable is the stage. I've been married, and then separated myself from it. I have loved. I have felt every emotion but hate. Sincerely, right now I feel alone. My entire life I've been taught to follow the path of Christianity, to know God and have a relationship with Him through His son Jesus who speaks through the Holy Spirit. In my entire life I have probably only missed 4 weeks without attending church in some form. The faith I've come to call my own is that of forgiveness, truth, compassion, and unconditional love. All of this combined has brought me to a point where I am confused by my life.

How could someone who was brought up in the way I have been and have all the things that I do feel alone? My entire life I have heard the words "I just don't understand you" and been completely crushed and frustrated by them. Many times people ask me to repeat myself, most often then not I reply with a quick "No!" Why am I so sharp? Because I know I am of no importance. That anything I say or do isn't in the slightest significant nor will it matter in the long run. I say that because no one in my entire life has done anything to show me otherwise. Of course I've been told differently, who hasn't? But when you get down to the nitty gritty of what everyone needs, I believe its what I have defined as my faith.

Forgiveness, Truth, Compassion, and Unconditional Love. They are all things I know exist. I've been shown several of them at different points in time in my life, but I've never seen it in its purest form whole and complete. I've never seen faith.

People think for some reason that faith is the same as acceptance. The only problem I find with that is that faith pushes people to change, to become better. Where acceptance allows the person to stay the same. Is change necessary? Whether or not its necessary doesn't matter, the fact is: It's inevitable. I am not the same person I was 10 years ago, 2 years ago, 1 year ago, or even 5 mins ago. I've changed, and will continue to change. Things will become different to me as I continue to get older. Decisions will be made on my part that will alter everything about me.

Why does any of this matter? Because in all honesty the reason I feel alone, is because people allow their ignorance to keep them from having faith in me. To keep them from knowing that I am who I am in this moment and I can't change that; however, I can change who I will be in the next.

All I want is for people, or even one person, to realize that I've made mistakes, I need you to forgive them. I wont always know whats right, I need you to tell me whats true. I wont always have the strength and other things I will need, so I need you to show me compassion. And honestly, I wont always love, but I need you to show me it unconditionally.

I know my needs. God does all that, but he also knew that when He created Adam, he would feel alone because he needed a companion. My companion needs to show me that they're willing to be what I need. I am done fighting the fact that I long for companionship. That I've never had that. I need someone who finds they needs to make me feel like I'm the only person in the room. Who needs to love me because without that specific need they wouldn't feel complete. I need someone who see's eye to eye on practically every topic. Who's humble enough to admit when they're wrong, but strong enough to stand their ground when they knows they're right. I know those are my needs because I've done all of that before for someone else and never received it back. Companionship is mutual, not consensual. I will not settle any longer.

I want someone to need me, and not just say its so, but show it. That's what I'm looking for.

Unity... WHAT HAPPENED?

2010-07-29T03:26:00.009-05:00

Stained glass artwork is beautiful. There are so many different pieces that come together and create such a beautiful piece of art. Some are so intricate that it takes years to build, not to mention to create the whole piece in its entirety takes a ton of thought and inspiration.

So tonight I thought I was done blogging, but I got to thinking and the verse Acts 2:42 popped into my head, which is:

"They devoted themselves to the apostles teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer." (NIV)

The first thing I thought was "It's so simple!" Why I thought that? Well I don't know. I think it's because they did 4 things and that's just it, church was simple. And then, I wondered why they did those 4 things, and who 'they' where? So I did the logical thing, ran to my laptop, typed in 'they devoted' into Google and followed the search engine to biblegateway.com where I found Acts 2. I read through the entire chapter and cried. Amazed by the circumstance, I sat back and decided to get on here and throw all that was on my mind into a blog.

Confession, this is not the first time I have read through chapter 2 Acts, and that's why I was amazed by how hard it hit me tonight. You see, this past month or more (I guess I could just say a for a pretty long time) I have been dwelling on the idea of 'church'. The background of how it all got started wasn't anything new to me, but the present state of the church always confused me. Let's look at the facts of the present church:

most Christians go to church (some non-Christians do as well)
it's usually on a Sunday (some have services on Saturday, and the popular Weds)
There's a pastor who's usually the go to guy (the guy in charge)
Services tend to have the same order; worship, greeting, offering, message, end worship/leaving music
there's usually music involved
sometimes there are small groups or different meetings you can attend to be 'apart of the church' throughout the week

The biggest fact that I personally have an issue with is: There are 33000+ different denominations of the Christian Church (as noted by the Christian Encyclopedia). That's 33000+ arguments that Christians have among themselves. Now, if I were a non-believer that fact alone would turn me away. There are enough things in everyday life that I don't agree with why add 33000+ more to my plate? In our society/world today people throw the idea of 'acceptance' around as if by accepting things we are somehow showing love. So if I'm a non-believer to the idea of Christianity, by that fact alone makes me think that Christians do not love. I mean common!... with that amount of division and arguments something has got to be wrong! Truthfully if the world even considers that type of division wrong, that says something.

So back to the passage in Acts 2. The part that made me cry was in verse 44:

"All the believers were together and had everything in common." (NIV)

That is so powerful. Really. If you go back up to verse 41 you see that there were roughly 3,000 or so people. 3,000 people who were united and had everything in common. Where did we go wrong? Why is it that we are so divided now? That same verse states that those 3,000 people came about in 1 day! AND it didn't stop there, verse 46 states:

"And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved."(NIV)

He 'added to' which means that they didn't break off and do there own thing after hearing about Christ, but they continued to grow and fellowship with the 3,000.

Verse 40:

"Then Peter continued preaching for a long time, strongly urging his listeners, "Save yourselves from this crooked Generation!" " (NLT)

This verse made me think. What if we've spiraled backward? There's a crooked generation all around us. People claiming they know the truth, that they have what is right. Forgive me if I'm wrong but 33,000 or more arguments in Christianity doesn't sound at all like what God intended His followers to be like. Togetherness, having everything in common, doing life with each other everyday, that's what the church used to look like. So my question is this: IF we are the church, WHEN will we start acting/looking like the real deal? and Have we really come this far to where we've placed our personal opinions above God's desire for HIS creation?

It's your turn to read through Acts 2. Are you seeing what God sees? I think He wants to see a beautiful piece of stained glass, not the broken pieces we've created.

Acts 2 (NIV)

The Holy Spirit Comes at Pentecost

1 When the day of Pentecost came, they were all together in one place.2 Suddenly a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from heaven and filled the whole house where they were sitting.3 They saw what seemed to be tongues of fire that separated and came to rest on each of them.

4 All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit enabled them. 5 Now there were staying in Jerusalem God‑fearing Jews from every nation under heaven.6 When they heard this sound, a crowd came together in bewilderment, because each one heard them speaking in his own language.7 Utterly amazed, they asked: “Are not all these men who are speaking Galileans?8 Then how is it that each of us hears them in his own native language?9 Parthians, Medes and Elamites; residents of Mesopotamia, Judea and Cappadocia, Pontus and Asia,10 Phrygia and Pamphylia, Egypt and the parts of Libya near Cyrene; visitors from Rome11 (both Jews and converts to Judaism); Cretans and Arabs–we hear them declaring the wonders of God in our own tongues!”

12 Amazed and perplexed, they asked one another, “What does this mean?”

13 Some, however, made fun of them and said, “They have had too much wine.”

Peter Addresses the Crowd

14 Then Peter stood up with the Eleven, raised his voice and addressed the crowd: “Fellow Jews and all of you who live in Jerusalem, let me explain this to you; listen carefully to what I say.15 These men are not drunk, as you suppose. It's only nine in the morning!

16 No, this is what was spoken by the prophet Joel:

17 ” ‘In the last days, God says,
I will pour out my Spirit on all people.
Your sons and daughters will prophesy,
your young men will see visions,
your old men will dream dreams.

18 Even on my servants, both men and women,
I will pour out my Spirit in those days,
and they will prophesy.

19 I will show wonders in the heaven above
and signs on the earth below,
blood and fire and billows of smoke.

20 The sun will be turned to darkness
and the moon to blood
before the coming of the great and glorious day of the Lord.

21 And everyone who calls
on the name of the Lord will be saved.’ 22 “Men of Israel, listen to this: Jesus of Nazareth was a man accredited by God to you by miracles, wonders and signs, which God did among you through him, as you yourselves know.23 This man was handed over to you by God's set purpose and foreknowledge; and you, with the help of wicked men, put him to death by nailing him to the cross.24 But God raised him from the dead, freeing him from the agony of death, because it was impossible for death to keep its hold on him.

25 David said about him:
“ ‘I saw the Lord always before me.
Because he is at my right hand,
I will not be shaken.

26 Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;
my body also will live in hope,

27 because you will not abandon me to the grave,
nor will you let your Holy One see decay.

28 You have made known to me the paths of life;
you will fill me with joy in your presence.’ 29 “Brothers, I can tell you confidently that the patriarch David died and was buried, and his tomb is here to this day.30 But he was a prophet and knew that God had promised him on oath that he would place one of his descendants on his throne.31 Seeing what was ahead, he spoke of the resurrection of the Christ, that he was not abandoned to the grave, nor did his body see decay.32 God has raised this Jesus to life, and we are all witnesses of the fact.33 Exalted to the right hand of God, he has received from the Father the promised Holy Spirit and has poured out what you now see and hear.

34 For David did not ascend to heaven, and yet he said,
“ ‘The Lord said to my Lord:
“Sit at my right hand

35 until I make your enemies
a footstool for your feet.” ’

36 “Therefore let all Israel be assured of this: God has made this Jesus, whom you crucified, both Lord and Christ.”

37 When the people heard this, they were cut to the heart and said to Peter and the other apostles, “Brothers, what shall we do?” 38 Peter replied, “Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.

39 The promise is for you and your children and for all who are far off–for all whom the Lord our God will call.” 40 With many other words he warned them; and he pleaded with them, “Save yourselves from this corrupt generation.”

41 Those who accepted his message were baptized, and about three thousand were added to their number that day.

The Fellowship of the Believers

42 They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.43 Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles.44 All the believers were together and had everything in common.45 Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need.46 Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts,

47 praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.

Channelling the Challenge

2010-07-22T22:30:00.000-05:00

I've put this task off long enough, and to be honest I haven't got an excuse. Ok so here's the thing, In all my years of living (which is a day short of 21) I haven't been able to finish a read through of the Bible. I've always had an excuse for it. I would read certain passages over and over and just stop, or a book or two and feel accomplished which would result in me not picking it up again for awhile. This past year I haven't read much at all. I've learned a lot from other things and people, but not directly from His word. Like I said, I have not 1 good excuse for not doing it.

God put me to the test and moved me with His Spirit, as He often does. This time I'm taking on the challenge full on. This past month or so I've heard Him say "You are making our relationship difficult, I keep working in your life and helping you out. I know everything about you and your heart. You say you're working for Me and that you love Me but I've written you a letter and you haven't read it yet. Don't you want to know Me better?" It's been rubbing me the wrong way. Tonight I've decided to let it rub me the right way. I had decided a week ago I was going to start a 90 day read through of the Bible on Aug. 1st, which is this Sunday. I'm doing daily readings until then. Tonight I've added fasting. I've never really made it through a full on fast, but this time I will! By the time I finish this post it'll probably be 1am Thurs morning, that leaves 71 hours of fasting time before Sunday. 71 hours of meditation on God. 71 hours of God preparing my heart, soul, spirit, and flesh for what's about to happen.

90 days. I will be blogging everyday to document where God takes me on this journey. Things that I learn, emotions I feel, perspectives I'll take on things, everything will be documented on here all in search for the TRUTH. I'm hoping that this read-through will clear a few things up in my life.

Talking with other people I've gotten the same response: "That's a fast read through, and It'll be hard to get a lot out of it." But really if you think about it, it's not that bad. There are 736 pages average in an NIV Bible, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows is in average 784 pages, Eclipse is roughly 692 pages, and I could keep going but I think my point is reached. The most popular book or should is say "books" on the market right now are the Twilight saga, each book is 500 to 800 and some pages. Most teenagers read through and finish the books within a matter of days to weeks. Yet, when it comes to the Bible (which oddly enough is the most published book of all times) it usually takes people years to finish and I just don't know why? I think it's because we know the basic story line and we've become satisfied with the idea that that's enough, that essentially we don't need more. We should know by now that ideas aren't sufficient, but God is! So I'm going to step out of my "convenience zone" and step into the challenge by channeling God's word. By truly living for Him and making my everyday, every thought, my everything about Him, and to do that first I must build my relationship with Him stronger by digging into His word, and His word entirely.

I'd lie to you all if I said that it won't be difficult, but I am ready to do this. I'll be finished with the entire thing on October 29th. It's about 13 or so chapters a day depending on the day. I'm following the schedule on www.youversion.com and you can customize your own or choose the 90 day program.

I urge everyone to try this out for themselves. I cannot create a personal relationship with God for you. So here goes nothing, if you have any questions just hit me up on here or Facebook.

Fruits,

Amber

Do you see the family resemblance?

2010-07-15T00:39:00.000-05:00

Gosh... Here we go,

So I (or rather my mind) was on the topic of being made in the image of Christ. What does that even mean? Being made in His image? Well I've come to the conclusion that I'm not the grade A scholar that can answer this question by using philosophical reasoning that causes you more confusion than the question alone caused and then leaves you to feel like you have the correct answer. Nope not me. Instead, my answer to this question is simple. When God looked down at man He simply smiled and called them His own. Think about it.

When Nicodemus came to Jesus and asked Him in John 3 the way to heaven, the response puzzled the grade A scholar. His entire life he believed that doing good works, and studying the scriptures was the price one had to pay to reach heaven's gates. Imagine being a surgeon and right before a surgery you ask the professor who wrote your books in med school what you really need to perform your first surgery. To your surprise he says "Ok, you know how to talk like a surgeon but that book isn't going to save this person's life." Then he hands you a glass of water and an oxygen mask, two basic necessities "This is all you need."

How confused Nicodemus was. He had the med school books, and thought he knew what it took to be a doctor of religion. But something inside him said that that wasn't enough. The answer was simple.

"You must be born again." Jesus told him. Never even hearing of this before I can imagine Nicodemus laughing then trying to joke with Jesus when he replies,

"How can anyone be born who has already been born and grown up? You can't re-enter your mother's womb and be born again..."

When God created the world the finishing touch were man and woman. He created them in 'His image'. I believe that that simply means we have features like God. When a couple have a baby, that child grows up to posses similarities of his parents such as physical features, laughs, smiles, personality traits, and emotional characteristics. The same with goes with God and those who call Him Father. Unless you are adopted into his family and are willing to surrender everything you are to Him, you wont be like Him though. It's a scary thought, and it weirds a lot of people out.

Let's be honest though... There are two options when it comes to life. You can grow up in and of the world or in and of God. With everything there are pros and cons.

Growing up in the WORLD:

pros

You can do whatever you want
You get to create yourself
There are no restrictions other than avoiding what kills you
You're not accountable to anyone but yourself
It's not possible to hurt someone else, because everyone decides there own emotional response.
It's easy

cons

Love is really hard to explain let alone find
Emotionally you have no connections or ties because emotions are just things made up by the brain to help balance the hormones in your body.
Hope is just a word people use to describe anticipation or lack thereof
When you die it's over
Reasons for living are few and far between other than self. In the end, your alone anyways might as well party up like it.

Growing up in GOD

pros

Love not only has a definition it has many definitions. One of which is an emotional response triggered by a feeling that causes you to realize what it is. (most people call it a conscious)
You're never alone. There's always someone there guiding you to safety giving you hope.
There's a reason to live, and after that even more reasons
You have a connection that draws you closer to people.
Your earthly life is not the end its just the first step into becoming more beautiful

cons

Living with God is a choice that some people don't make, therefor not everyone will be in heaven
You can't just be a good person, it's not enough
Responsibility takes effect

Now that we have the pros and cons really take a look at them. What most people who don't believe in God would do is say that the world sounds so much better. Why? Because it doesn't involve work. You're not responsible for anything... who you become, what you do, how much your life is worth. Nothing. There's no point to life in the end so you might as well do what other people do to enjoy it. But what if the cons listed under 'Growing up in God' weren't really cons? Would it change your mind?

The first bullet point under that section states that not everyone will make that choice and that not everyone goes to heaven. This seems like a negative thing because we all know someone we never want to say goodbye to. When the end of the world comes and the gates to heaven close, no one is going to be taking attendance to see who didn't make it, because, that's not the point. The point of heaven/God's will all along was for His creation to know and live in love. Not only that, but He didn't want robots walking around because they were programed to love Him. He wanted genuine love. He knew it would require a sacrifice. People think it's selfish that some would go to Hell to prove that the others that got into heaven knew what was right. But that's not looking at it the right way. One of the most quoted scripture verses is John 3:16 and I went through verse 18.

^16-18"This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, his one and only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life. God didn't go to all the trouble of sending his Son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was. He came to help, to put the world right again. Anyone who trusts in him is acquitted; anyone who refuses to trust him has long since been under the death sentence without knowing it. And why? Because of that person's failure to believe in the one-of-a-kind Son of God when introduced to him.

(The Message)

So that ANYONE could have a whole and lasting life. It's doesn't say just some. It's a choice though that everyone individually is given. The price is just accepting that what's been done is true. Once you believe in God's example of unselfish love through Christ, that's it, and everything you've ever done wrong is forgiven. You learn to reach out to ANYONE so that they might live in that same freedom. The freedom from hopelessness, not knowing what love is, and all of the cons that 'Growing up in the WORLD' binds you to.

The second con says that doing good works isn't enough. I kind of already covered this. You have to accept that what you're doing is for the right reasons before its actually doing something good. When you believe in God doing good things becomes easier. You have a reason to and the urge is stronger than ever. Why? Because the world bind to self-righteous living no longer has a hold on you.

The last con covers and says a lot in itself. Responsibility takes effect. When you believe in God and everything about Him you realize you're accountable to Him. Everything your conscience pushes you to do and not do keeps you in check. There's a reason to live and with that reason comes the responsibility of fulfilling your destiny as a person/human being here on earth. You see worth in your life and it's suddenly more worth than you could ever imagine. You desire that everyone you know finds that same worth and value you've found. The definition of that worth is the knowledge that the one who designed you and created you desired that you know love. That desire lead Him to send His son, which was God in man's flesh, a form of God that man could touch and feel, proof of His existence to earth where it was mocked and abused. Instead of calling His son back to heaven He asked Him to stay knowing He'd be murdered. His reasoning behind this transaction? So that man would see perfection paying the price for neglect. Sin is ultimately neglecting the fact that God's love is real. It's better than self.

Cons are all taken care of. There are no more excuses. Being born again simply means wanting to be made in His image. His image is that of sacrifice. Sacrifice brings about the meaning of love. Love is God. Being born again is knowing Love. When your first born it's hard, you start out taking little steps, walking in faith as you do when you're a child. You trust your Father to take care of you and help you grow to be the best you can be. Does the world offer any of that?

If you don't sacrifice the self that you've become through the world, you won't have any of the characteristics of your Father, and that means you weren't born again. If that's the case, God wont know you or be able to call you his own. Other believers should be able to see the family resemblance and if you're walking in the light that God has provided you'll see it too. If you don't see anything... you still have a choice to make.

Desperate

2010-06-25T14:23:00.000-05:00

Oh, how many times I've heard the word "Desperate" and cringed. Most of the time it's used to describe a situation where girl meets boy, boy doesn't know girl exists, girl meets another boy, another boy doesn't care... and the story goes on and on. Ok so what does it mean to be really desperate? I could give you a ton of different scenarios and stories where someone say's they were desperate... but in the end you would feel sorry for someone, or think they were lame, and that would be missing the point.

When I looked up desperate in Miriam Webster's Dictionary I found this:

1 a : having lost hope b : giving no ground for hope
2 a : moved by despair b : involving or employing extreme measures in an attempt to escape defeat or frustration
3 : suffering extreme need or anxiety money>
4 : involving extreme danger or possible disaster
5 : of extreme intensity

It's not any different than I expected... In fact I think almost everyone thinks of all that. The thing we don't think about is the fact that without faith in God we are always going to be desperate. That longing feel for something else, something more, something. What if we replaced that longing with God? Would the feeling go away or would it just become greater?

There are so many people who claim to be "Christians" or "saved". They live their lives going to church on Sundays, saying their prayers, and owning their Bibles. Even a pagan goes to church, says prayers, and even owns a Bible. The difference is that a true saved person is desperate to fall more and more into love with the one who saved them.

I loved these little guys in Toy Story! In the second one Mr. & Mrs. Potato save them and their response is "You have saved our lives! We are eternally Grateful!" Why is it that we are saved from despair and yet our response is "Ok God so what is the bare minimum?" Instead shouldn't we be desperate to know our Savior more, and fall in love with him as much as we possibly can?

The next question I have is this: Do we even realize what we've been saved from? Most people just think that when you're saved its a matter just not going to hell (which is part of it). Heaven's terrific and all, but I don't want to go there just for the housing arrangements, I want to go there to be with the one who invited me in. I want him to know how grateful I am for Him saving me. From what you might ask? From loneliness, hopelessness, being incapable to feel and know what real love is, and yes from eternal damnation from everything that is good and perfect... God.

Now is the time to wake up, and become desperate to know God, nothing in our lives should trump that. Sadly instead, we replace the new life that God gives us with the one we already had and then try to make it work. That way we don't have to do anything to extreme and we blend in with the rest of the world.

Ok so back to Miriam. Her definition was right on, but lets see how it really ties into all of this.

Definition #1

a) having lost hope

Most people hope in the wrong things. They put faith and hope in their finances, or worse, just

self. That type of hope is lost immediately when we realize what true hope is made of.

b) giving no ground for hope

How much ground do you think there is in hell for hope? I think Hell's kinda like the mafia, once you're in you're in.

Definition #2

a) moved by despair

God can use despair to move us toward's Him through real hope.

b) involving or employing extreme measures in attempt to escape defeat or frustration

I love how it say's extreme measures because when you are desperate for something

you do anything to get it. Shouldn't it be that way with knowing God?

Definition #3

a) suffering extreme need or anxiety

There it is again people extreme, If you're really saved you realize how much you need God, and you become anxious to know everything about Him.

Definition #4

a) involving extreme danger or possible disaster

And again extreme. You don't need a Savior if there is nothing you need saved from, but we know that there is extreme danger and disaster.

Definition #5

a) of extreme intensity

You go to the extreme, pushing all the limits, holding nothing back, giving all you've got to thank Him for all He's done, and get to know Him more.

It seems to me like being saved should throw us into this new mindset where nothing else matter's except Christ. Insert 2 Corinthians 5:17. When you've been saved from extreme danger, you tell everyone you know about it!

We live in such an extreme world where everything is acceptable. Since everything is acceptable people don't know right from wrong. The only thing that's wrong is hurting someone else, and most of the time that's only wrong when it's done physically. Since the only thing that's accepted as wrong is hurting, people despise Christians because they speak against other things. They "hurt" people with their words, and because of what they say it causes people to commit suicide. They are horrible people. Christians have this horrible reputation they cant avoid because they have a different definition of wrong.

Accepting things doesn't make them right. A true Christian should know that. Instead accepting triggers a change in people's lives. How do we insure that is a good change? By living out what we believe. Staying strong in our faith. Consistently growing and pursing God in desperation to know Him. That's what will catch on. Strong faith is contagious and has no cure... pass it on!

The People Default

2010-06-23T23:51:00.000-05:00

Well, there has been a lot on my mind lately. A lot has happened since I last got on here, sat down, and actually typed an entire sum of thoughts out. I don't want to bore you all with things that don't really matter instead, I would like to know that after reading this, somebody stays in pensive thought.

I changed the name of the blog to "The Transparency of Truth". I did this because I felt that it really explains where I am in life right now. My goal in life is to reach people. How do I do that though? It's not like that's a new goal for me. Remember the McDonald's playgrounds? There was so much fun in them! Some kids would run up to the top of the slide and just sit there. Others would run around and just go wild, and some would sit with there parents and just watch. Not me! I was the first to pull of my shoes, run to the first kid nearby, and strike up a whole long conversation! And believe me, I got to know the works! I also told whoever it was my entire life story (because I'd lived so long!). By the time I was done, they knew everything about me and we were best friends until one of our parents yelled "Come down the slide and get your shoes on! It's time go home, I mean it!". It was heart wrenching saying goodbyes. Lots of times there were tears, it was if the whole world were coming to an end.

I still live like that. The whole world is a McDonald's Play Place, and the first person I see I want to talk to. I want to know them, who they are inside and out, and I want them to know me. Relationships are crucial in my life without them I feel so lost! God has been teaching me lately why they are so important. Continually pressing me forward and encouraging me to create new ones. Lately, I've had question after question rise up about the topic of relationships. The one that keeps rolling around in my mind is "Why would anyone want to build a relationship with anyone else?"

Now before you all start to think this is going to be a, for lack of better words, "emo" blog, really think about it. Loneliness is one thing that everyone is afraid to get on or out of. Its the thing that drives us into or out of relationships. How many people do you know are in a relationship because they want to be lonely? Inevitably, people are lonely in relationships, but thats not what drives people together. What does it even mean to be lonely? How do you become lonely? Grasping the fact that there are millions upon billions of people in the world we live in and people are still claiming to be lonely. Now, it's taken a lot of thought on my part and a lot of conversing with The Big Guy, and I know for a fact that we are not created to be lonely. No instead, we as humans have created loneliness through various ways. The biggest one I've noticed is that people LOVE to put themselves first, think that they know best. Do you know what the worst part about it is? Most often than not people don't even know they are doing it. Society, being the people around you in every day life, has come up with a definition of self and self worth. That definition has caused people to think that they have the right to 'control' how much they are worth, and who they share that worth with.

I've heard the statement "You can't fully help other's until you help yourself" a lot lately. To say that it rubs me the wrong way would be an understatement. One thing that I've learned to do is to question things, and the question that arises here is: What about the golden rule? Treat other's as you would treat yourself. in other words: Other's first. If you allow yourself to think that you 'control' how much you are worth, then it takes this statement to a whole different level. I mean honestly which sounds better?: I am worthless, nothing, and imperfect or I am powerful, everything, perfect... If you heard someone say either of these which one would you feel sorry for? To be honest, I would cry if I heard someone say the later without following it up with "In Christ!" In reality, most people won't even think of that though. Instead, it's easier and makes them feel better to think that by themselves they are powerful, everything, and perfect.

The world is constantly giving us ways to 'control' how much we are worth. There are things you can buy, things can people say, and experiences you can live that somehow define our worth. As a believer I know that no one on earth can define me. No one needs to. To them my name is and should be simply Amber. My life is a different story. It needs no definition other than 'Christ-like'. Me striving to build new relationships and strong relationships with others is a chance for God to use me and mold me into who I am meant to be. I have nothing to do with who I am and that's the way it should be; however, neither do people. This is where you may have to pay close attention. I have nothing to do with who I am and neither do You and/or Others but through You and/or Others God has everything to do with Me. This is why it is important why you know who you are hanging around with.

The easiest and thing most people default to when picking out friends is to take anyone who can stand who you are. Sure, sometimes there may be drama, and sometimes you might not even really like them, but they're accepting and that's all that matters. Right? What if the people you hung around were on the same page as you were, and instead of just getting together to tell the lasted drama, you were getting together to live an extravagant life knowing that it's only going to get better? Oh but that's just a gimmick! No way is that ever going to be reality! Well if that can't be reality then somebody better redefine reality quick, because it can happen. I didn't say that bad things wouldn't happen to you while you were here living life on this planet called earth. Duh, that would have been stupid. I just said it would be extravagant! Bad things happen because this isn't heaven. There is so much to learn here on earth and that's why were here. It's not a place where our souls were formed then just told to live by pushing our bodies to the limit of them getting old and deceasing. Let me tell you something! This earth is not my souls grave! Instead my soul finds rest in one place only, and that is in Christ.

Ok now it's time to sum all of this up! Are you ready folks? Cause here we go:

a) From a young age we realize we are supposed to reach out to people. This later translates into forming relationships.

b) Without relationships people are lonely.

c) Loneliness is life without God present.

d) God uses relationships to reach us, because people are something we can see, and for some reason we as humans need proof.

e) I have nothing to do with who I am and neither do You and/or Others but through You and/or Others God has everything to do with Me

f) People aren't important really, but with God they are. God created man with the intent of creating relationships. He created us to create love which is the key to any relationship.

g) Love can't exist with just one person which brings us back to why people are lonely. Because we think that people by themselves will make us complete.

h) People try to take short cuts and tricks to living and that complicates things. This isn't Rachel Ray's 30 min Meals... This is real life!!!

i) God's not really that complicated, people are.

With all that being said I conclude with this passage of Scripture:

Psalm 40

A David Psalm

^1-3 I waited and waited and waited for God. At last he looked; finally he listened.
He lifted me out of the ditch,
pulled me from deep mud.
He stood me up on a solid rock
to make sure I wouldn't slip.
He taught me how to sing the latest God-song,
a praise-song to our God.
More and more people are seeing this:
they enter the mystery,
abandoning themselves to God.

^4-5 Blessed are you who give yourselves over to God,
turn your backs on the world's "sure thing,"
ignore what the world worships;
The world's a huge stockpile
of God-wonders and God-thoughts.
Nothing and no one
comes close to you!
I start talking about you, telling what I know,
and quickly run out of words.
Neither numbers nor words
account for you.

⁶ Doing something for you, bringing something to you—
that's not what you're after.
Being religious, acting pious—
that's not what you're asking for.
You've opened my ears
so I can listen.

^7-8 So I answered, "I'm coming.
I read in your letter what you wrote about me,
And I'm coming to the party
you're throwing for me."
That's when God's Word entered my life,
became part of my very being.

^9-10 I've preached you to the whole congregation,
I've kept back nothing, God—you know that.
I didn't keep the news of your ways
a secret, didn't keep it to myself.
I told it all, how dependable you are, how thorough.
I didn't hold back pieces of love and truth
For myself alone. I told it all,
let the congregation know the whole story.

^11-12 Now God, don't hold out on me,
don't hold back your passion.
Your love and truth
are all that keeps me together.
When troubles ganged up on me,
a mob of sins past counting,
I was so swamped by guilt
I couldn't see my way clear.
More guilt in my heart than hair on my head,
so heavy the guilt that my heart gave out.

^13-15 Soften up, God, and intervene;
hurry and get me some help,
So those who are trying to kidnap my soul
will be embarrassed and lose face,
So anyone who gets a kick out of making me miserable
will be heckled and disgraced,
So those who pray for my ruin
will be booed and jeered without mercy.

^16-17 But all who are hunting for you—
oh, let them sing and be happy.
Let those who know what you're all about
tell the world you're great and not quitting.
And me? I'm a mess. I'm nothing and have nothing:
make something of me.
You can do it; you've got what it takes—
but God, don't put it off.

I'm ready

2009-06-19T15:37:00.000-05:00

Ok, new post! Lol I'm doing good for 2 in a row.

So I was thinking more on the Spiritual side today. Not that I don't think about my faith in God everyday, but I feel like I was just dwelling more on Spiritual battle topics today. I think so many people feel like its a boring topic. Ya know? It's one of those things were you've either heard about the little devil and angel on the shoulder or you've heard the the devil made me do it. But in either case you are the understood person with a battle raging around every thought, every word spoken, and every action.

So what brought this topic to my mind?

Well, today we were talking about harmony in theory class today for hair. Now the word Harmony, seems to always cause people to think of balance. But, that's not the correct definition. It's not merely ignoring the fact that somethings wrong, or that you just need to deal with things alone, or even that you need to live with those things. No all of that is balancing or allowing all of that to be in your life. No harmony is really unity. A peace. I'll explain it this way, if you listen to two people sing a line from a song, but one of them is singing it really wrong, then that would be disgusting; however, if you hear two people sing a line from a song and they are singing the same tune or tunes that fit together, then that is harmony.

It's a beautiful thing that our world lacks. HARMONY.

If you life lacks harmony with God, then people will notice. To them it will be like two wrong notes playing over and over again.

As a musician I have learned how to sing and work with harmonies musically. I love to find them in songs and sing along because, it allows for everyone to have a part in the song. It gives everyone their 'own song' in a way. We all have our own song to live. Whether or not you are a beautiful song is up to you.

In Moderation

2009-06-18T20:10:00.000-05:00

Ok so it's that time. Time to write an amazing blog.

So lately I've been planning my upcoming wedding. Luke and I are so excited, but with all of the cake planning, music picking, invitation sending and my all-time-favorite well, so far I don't have a favorite. To be honest, I love all of the excitement but it is wearing me down and I find myself exhausted at the end of each day. We're trying to save money with this wedding, but it's so darn expensive. And doing that is exremely bothersome to do. I'm ready for this to come and go.

With the exhaustion and mentality of moderation my body has physically gone into lazy mode. It's not good. I always end up not doing one thing. You know that feeling? The "I'll wait until last for this one." and "Well that isn't as important as this." I always think like that now.

I'm LAZY! I'm wondering if after all of this bride stuff wears off, the tired feeling will too.

What Do We Know?

2009-01-03T08:34:00.000-06:00

It's been a while, and I'm feeling the desperation to let my thoughts fall from my head to the place where I see them on the screen. You know... the urge to break from the chaos of everyday life and just enjoy typing to you the blogging world.

Right now I am excited because my wedding is now only 7 months away. Today I'm going dress shopping!!! Yay!!! I cant wait to see all of the beautiful dresses! I am taking one of my best friends with me who's one of my brides maids.

I can't wait to be a married woman. Crazy I know. Some people dread the day that they would get "tied down", but that's a stupid phrase anyways! I want to spend the rest of my life with the man of my dreams. A guy that knows me sometimes better than I know myself, continues to help me grow in my spiritual journey, and his ambitions are the same as my own. We'll become one family and push on in life together.

Some people (aka many people) have said that this is a huge undertaking in life and that We are extremely young. But you see, if I didn't take this step of marriage and went on living my life without this man, I would be living half heartily. I know that God has us together for a reason and I love him! And I love God and trust Him as much as I possibly can!

There are days when Luke and I are excited to death, and other days where there are challenges, and we are continuing to pursue this relationship. And what do we know? We know that love has been perverted by the world, and that God has been constantly trying to show the world what true love is. We know that we can't portray the perfect love that God has the best, but we'll try our best to show it. We want to have a relationship that other people will know is real. And that's all we know.

Well I'm gonna mingle with the family.

Peace!

Amber

Gossip instead of Votes

2008-11-04T12:28:00.001-06:00

ARE ALL BLOGS GENERIC?

Well most titles for Political Blogs are. I've seen so many that just say GO VOTE, or VOTE TODAY. And my favorite WWJV... Who Would Jesus Vote?

I think voting is a great thing. It's a way that everyone over the age of 18 can express their values, and show where they stand on issues. But with today's society, many people are making it not about themselves, but about race and history. Today at the poles, you'll see many people just standing in line waiting to press the buttons for a person that just sounds like an ok choice. That's fine I suppose, but who are they voting for? What are they voting for? A president doesn't impact a nation anymore than a senator or a congressman. The people standing in line are voting on what color the person is, what religion the person is, and whether or not their parents are voting for them as well. 2 out of 3 of those depending on who you are define who you vote for.

White

Christian

Republican

~~~~

Mixed

Undefined Christian

Democrat

Two different people who can propose plans to change America, but in reality never will. YOU WILL, the people. If they vote yes or no for your bill then, you changed America. If you contact your senator or congressman and have them vote a certain way, then you are putting your two cents in and "VOTING", picking a person for president really isn't as important as picking laws and congressmen/senators.

So vote for whoever you want. I would vote for the person most likely to listen. Someone who doesn't have too many plans ahead of you. So that way YOU can decide, and not the President. And that's why America is the way it is. Too many people vote a person into office and then expect him to do everything. THE PRESIDENT ISN'T GOD. You have to do your part in society. If you hate society, then you hate yourself, because that's who makes it up.

And people who don't vote or contact their senators are the people you see on t.v. speaking their minds, and really just getting their 10 minutes of fame. If Americans would stop looking to the President for everything then it would be the UNITED States of America.

"A house divided against itself cannot stand." is an amazing quote by Abraham Lincoln. And what do we have now. A nation split into pieces, divided and sitting out in the open ready for anything knock it down.

Personally I think that the war in Iraq is a good thing, just the fact that we're trying to help another country with their government. HOWEVER, I oppose it at the same time just because as a nation we're aren't stable. Who looks to us anymore? You cant pass people anymore without wondering if they think the same as you do on issues. Families don't speak of politics at home because there are so many disagreements.

When will we all be Americans and actually care about each other. What is best? Tell people in charge instead of gossiping like little school girls to one another. And when are the Christians going to start praying instead of joining in on this gossip? That's when Americans will be true AMERICANS.

Fall Pictures

2008-10-24T21:42:00.000-05:00

MakeMeLaugh

2008-10-24T13:34:00.000-05:00

God loves laughter. So smile and let it out!

So today my fiance and I were talking about getting slapped back into the presence of God, sometimes when we don't even think we need to. It's crazy how this works, but I found a few verses in Psalm 119 (or I should say he found them) that totally apply:

169-176 Let my cry come right into your presence, God;
provide me with the insight that comes only from your Word.
Give my request your personal attention,
rescue me on the terms of your promise.
Let praise cascade off my lips;
after all, you've taught me the truth about life!
And let your promises ring from my tongue;
every order you've given is right.
Put your hand out and steady me
since I've chosen to live by your counsel.
I'm homesick, God, for your salvation;
I love it when you show yourself!
Invigorate my soul so I can praise you well,
use your decrees to put iron in my soul.
And should I wander off like a lost sheep—seek me!
I'll recognize the sound of your voice.

I think it's important to view the situation as David did, to be "homesick" for God's salvation. When we think that everything is perfect and going the best, that's usually when we need a tug at our heart that gently leads us back to the place where we are yearning and seeking God's forgiveness. God's always going to be standing there seeking us out to bring us back like lost sheep. And when God calls, it's something that we recognize.

The only way to praise God is when we allow Him to show Himself to us. If we build up wall after wall trying to create our own person, then He becomes hidden, and it hits us harder and harder everytime each of the walls fall.

We shouldn't have to wait for the last wall to hit us like a plank to the face for us to listen. When God calls, we know it's Him, we need to be willing to turn around and run back. He'll guide us over the walls we put up if we turn around and let Him. When we don't listen to Him call us gently He will find a way to get through to His followers. It's amazing how much He loves us.

So remember you're in good hands.

God Bless,
Amber

Today

2008-10-21T12:10:00.000-05:00

I am so tired of Huntington. It's very boring and unproductive to me. I don't know what I want to do with life in the "World" as we know it. Everyone said that once highschool was over with, you entered into the 'real world'. So far for me, everything is the same. Its just work and the times for classes are different. And going to a liberal arts college, there are so many classes that you have to take in order to graduate with a certain major. I know I probably just sound like I'm complaining. Well I am.

My Case

Highschool pushes colleges on you like bad guys push the drugs. It's almost like if you go to college you'll have the time of your life and learn at the same time. You'll be the best you can be! Well, I believe that college can be beneficial and that life after college might be better off than life without ever going. The only thing is, if you don't know what you want to do, and you don't want to do the work, then why spend a bottoms load of doo doo and go for a year to find out that you still don't know what to do? It all seems like a waste of God's money and the precious time He's graciously given us all.

I know... You're thinking, "I know lots of people who went to or are going to college and they love it." And my reply is simply this. They probably all are involved on the campus, or know what they are doing and likes learning, or the most poplular reason is because they are ingadging in a relationship with someone at the college. If your answer is D) none of the above, then that's crazy. Who loves college and isn't any of those.

Oh well, I guess I'm just rambling. You see, I know that right now I could be using the whole Carpe Diem idea to help me get through this semester. But I'm caught in conflict. My parents hate me being gone from home and don't ever like it when I have people over. So, when I want to actually get to know people, or impact and be impacted by people, it just becomes difficult.

My philosophy for right now is to just get through this semester of college decently grade wise and then get a steady job. That way the hours I have at work will be ours that I can impact the people I work with, the work place, and be impacted the way God wants me to while I'm still here in Indiana. Then after the wedding, go to Hillsong in Australia, and become entirely consumed with the passion for living like Jesus. I have that desire to be the most like Jesus that I can and I can't do that by just sitting here. It's so difficult and frustrating. I just want to jump up and run around the US telling people about how there's this friendship that never dies, never abuses, never puts down, and always loves, and it's found in Jesus Christ our Saviour!

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm So ADD!

I love God!
Yeah I do!
I love God!
How About You?!?!?

WHOOO HOOO!!!

God Bless,
Amber

#1

2008-10-18T11:27:00.000-05:00

Welcome to my blog: a place where I can freely express myself, and give you little bits and pieces of what my world looks like.

This is just my first way of letting you all know who I am.
Ha enjoy.

Well, right now it is October 18th, 2008. I've lived 19years to see this day. Out of those 19 years, I look back and find that all of them carry memories and only some of them carry things I'd never wish to re-live. I'm sure all of you have a similar story give or take a few years.

I officially woke up this morning at about 9:00 am to the sound of my dad tapping on my door to wake me up. (He's done this off and on since I was probably 8) Then he called through the door as though he knew I was just lying in bed wrestling with the idea of getting out of my warm covers and into my cold room. "Amber, are you up?" he said. I moaned a little and managed to form the word yes. "Well, you'd better get up out soon and get some things done around here if you want to do anything today!"

So I sat up looked at the clock, turned over and snuggled deeper into my covers to catch what I always call a few more winks (but in reality always ends up being about another hour.)

Finally, I got out of bed and found some sweats and put them on to try and keep warm. Last night I had forgotten to close my window, so my room was freezing. Then I moseyed out of my room to the kitchen where my mom made me eat something.

...

OK LETS CUT TO THE CHASE,

I remember thinking through all of that, "How can I make today count?" Honestly. I knew I was going to get out of bed late and then perform the Saturday ritual that has become my routine since I started college. But today was different.

"How do I make today count?" The question kept rolling around in my mind. I don't know why it was there but it was, and it frustrated me.

To start things off a little different I decided to do some laundry (instead of waiting for it to pile around my bed to where I'd have to swim to the door.). Then, I tidied up my bathroom. All of these things didn't seem to "make it count". So I looked for a few more things to do around the house, but I became more and more frustrated with the thought of being at home. It seems to me that I'm usually at home, church, or school... sometimes I'll make it to a restaurant, but even now a days it seems like I've been getting it to go mostly. 'To go' where? I always go home. There are little things that I do here and there that require me to be places, but the majority of my time is spent at home, at school, or at church.

How frustrating. It's impossible to make today count when I just go with the normal. I get in the habit of not caring what's around me, I just do my thing. Even when I go to my fiance's house, it's like I go there expecting to see his family talk about how schools going, and then try and get home by a decent time so that my mom and dad don't freak out... even though the last one's usually always a failed attempt.

So it's about 1:30 now and my agenda looks like this:

from now until 2:15 continued cleaning around the house
from 2:15-3:00 straightening my hair and getting ready to leave
3:00-3:45 driving to Luke's house
3:45-5:15 spending time with Luke's family
5:30- whenever spending time talking with Tiffany
8:00 -9:45 going to TWS's last show
9:45-10:30 driving home to Columbia City
10:45 sleep

How do I make that schedule "count"?

Idk. We'll see what God dishes up, and then I'll just blog it.

So until next time!
God Bless,

Amber

:)